It’s Christmas Eve at my house and the boys are in bed. I didn’t say they were asleep bc that would either be untrue or would be jinxing whatever tiny shred of rest to which Monkey may have submitted. There must have been a moment some weeks back when the boy declared himself a co-sleeper. I missed the memo and certainly never signed any kind of agreement, but none of that matters to Monkey. He refuses to sleep alone and that’s all there is to say about that. Well, that’s hardly true but it’s all there is to say for now.
The point is that Yogi has laid out a Trader Joe’s brownie bar (his favorite) for Santa and a carrot for the reindeer, Monkey has hatched his plan for early entry into Mommy’s bed, my wife has assembled the little red wagon and I’ve stuffed the stockings and arranged everything just-so. When morning comes it will be Christmas.
This has been a jangled up kind of season. Full of the sweetest kind of joy (what is better than a toddler at Christmas?) and what feels like a long line of losses. More than a season really. The whole of the year has had a high-high and low-low sense about it. Either this is true or I’m just not handling things well. Hoping for the former, but fearing the data points to the latter. In spite of the fact that I stay home with kids and no longer “work”, I mailed neither holiday card nor gifts to any of the people on my Christmas list. I managed to create the photo calendar for the grandparents, but that’s about as far as I got. Well, Santa is coming to my house but my wife took care of much of that and Santa keeps it pretty simple around here. In fact, I have yet to create or send a birth announcement for my SEVEN MONTH old son.
So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m looking forward to the new year. I’m eager for a fresh start. In spite of my sense that I haven’t been at my best for awhile, I have been able to do what is most important. I have loved my boys each and every day. I have rocked and sung and diapered and read and played trucks and colored and engaged in all manner of toddler conversation. I’ve got a lot to learn about balance and keeping all the balls in the air at once, but I do understand priorities. This family and these tiny souls are at the tippy top of my list.
And because I can think of no other way to end this, here’s a cute story from the weekend. We spent Saturday afternoon playing with some friends who have two girls (2 and 4). Yogi loves their house because they have a play kitchen stocked with all kinds of food AND a vacuum. The kids baked and cleaned and even did some Christmas crafts that involved glue sticks (a major win for Yogi). At some point Yogi noticed that one of the girls had a tattoo on her arm and he asked about it. One of the Moms immediately went looking for a tattoo for Yogi, but all she could find was Hello Kitty. Yogi has no idea who Hello Kitty is but he loves cats and was totally in. On the way home we were talking about our visit and what our favorite parts had been when Yogi announced “I have a kitty on my leg. A kitty named Hello”.
I can’t tell you why that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard, but it is.