A Family of Five?

In the moments following Monkey’s birth, my wife and I were drinking him in and snuggling and enjoying the quiet exhaustion that follows a long labor when she whispered “I think we should do this again.” Now I’ve never given birth, but I would imagine this is an unusual statement for a woman who has spent the last three hours pushing (while tearing), delivering a baby and having the tear repaired. On the other hand, maybe it’s not that unusual. Endorphins are unbelievably powerful. Whatever the cause, she said it and later conversations revealed that she meant it.

Are we crazy or what?!!!

It’s not the most practical line of conversation, but love isn’t practical. There is something that feels right about a family of five. For both of us. Although I haven’t had it in years, during my twenties I had a recurring dream involving three boys and a grocery cart. One skipping along in the aisle ahead, one crouched in the cart with the groceries and a baby giggling and drooling in the seat. And of course, that baby had the bluest eyes. That dream has given me a lot of years to think about having three children, but I never imagined that it would be something that would feel right for my wife. When we decided to try for Monkey I felt like I had won the lottery. She was initially more skeptical (surprise, surprise) about the prospect of having more than one child, but Yogi was changed her. Family life has changed her. Changed both of us.

So, how are going to do this and when?

As you may remember, we’re out of embryos (we got our lovely Monkey with our very last three), out of sperm and our donor has “retired”. Thanks to Schroedinger who mentioned in a post that she had gotten her donor “recommissioned” (love the word choice), I’ve been dreaming about driving out west and finding him myself. (There’s more to say about my feelings towards the donor – look for another post on this topic soon). Happily, someone in this family has some sense and so my wife went the sane route and got in touch with the Cryobank in early July. Last week we got the news that our guy has been found (he moved) and he’s willing to help us expand our family.


If this works out for us, my wife will carry the baby. This means that we’re looking at a second round of IVF. We’re going to put a bit more space between Monkey and #3 than we did between Yogi and Monkey. The ideal start time would be when Monkey turns two. This would put a little less than two years between Yogi and Monkey and somewhere in the neighborhood of three years between Monkey and the baby. I’d love to have less space between oldest and youngest, but I’d also like to maintain some shred of my own sanity.

I’ll keep you posted on any developments. I’m thinking five is a lovely number.


3 thoughts on “A Family of Five?

  1. So amazing that you were able to track down your donor and that he’s willing to help you try for another!

    Though our family will be complete with four, I agree that five is a lovely number.

  2. Aw, I love picturing you two talking about this while snuggling that brand new baby. Amazing that your donor was found and that he agreed! We have been debating trying to do the same thing – get him reinstated. We definitely want a family of four and debate the fifth. I love the idea of five, too. Who knows. Happy for you guys.

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