If My Wife Were a Straight Girl from New York She Would be Bethenny Frankl

It hit me this afternoon while I was eating lunch and watching Bethenny Ever After.

I think I have mentioned that I have a sad, sad affection for reality TV.  One that is both shameful and persistent.  In spite of the fact that I no longer lead the life of (relative) leisure that I did as a college professor (who says you can’t grade papers or hell, write lectures with the TV in the background?) I still enjoy the occasional reality show.  Yogi is a demanding boss man, but during his early afternoon nap each day I eat lunch on the couch while watching something that is guaranteed NOT to make me a better person.  Today it was Bethenny Ever After.

I know nothing about her run on The Apprentice, but I loved her on the Real Housewives.  She’s funny, she’s quick, she’s hot (if you like that kind of thing, which I don’t but can certainly admire in others) and she’s super bossy.  Very much my kind of girl.  Watching her now with her new husband, I realized that our dynamic is very similar to theirs (bc of course I know everything about her and her marriage bc I’ve seen her on TV a few times 😉 ), she runs the show and he is happily along for the ride.  Then I started thinking about what my wife would be like if she weren’t a butch leaning gay girl and I realize…… she would be Bethenny Frankl!  Here’s how I know:

Both Bethenny and my wife share –

  • An obvious and much discussed fondness for exercise and sweating
  • Hyper grooming vigilance
  • A genuine love for salad (it’s real, people,I didn’t believe this for months, but she DOES want the salad)
  • A tendency to talk fast and get right to the point
  • Great bods
  • The need to be in charge
  • A fondness for moving at the speed of light

So, it’s Friday night, Yogi is having his bath and I am thinking about Bethenny Frankl and my wife.  I need to get out more, no?


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