Rambling Towards a Mommy Question

Here is the abbreviated version of my disappointment that I haven’t kept up with this blog in the way that I REALLY want to:

Damnit.  It seems that when all is well and Yogi makes sense to me and I’m feeling Hey, Sure I Can Totally be a Mom, I don’t slow down long enough for reflection.  The moments when I want to write come when the pendulum swings violently in the other direction into What the Hell am I Doing?/This Blows territory and since I haven’t recorded any of the happy stuff, I don’t want to blah, blah, blah negativity.  Once again, the answer is balance.  Moderation.  A little of this, a little of that.  Isn’t that always the answer?  Yes, it is.  Damnit.

So, on to my question for the Mommies.

When did your little person start taking actual naps?  As in, not just grabbing winks wherever and whenever they can.

I’m asking this question bc I got this book through Paperbackswap.com and it has rocked my world.  Some of the rocking liberating and some of it not so liberating.

The information that she shares related to infant cues (body movements, crying quality and rhythms) is already super useful.  Due largely to the fact that the only direction we got from Dr. Wonderful was “Feed him when he’s hungry”, I have been focused only on feeding him for the last 8 weeks.   This books’ discussion of other cues (over-stimulation, tired, need for a change in scenery) has created a tremendous shift in my connection with Yogi.  I feel like I’m actually HEARING him.

But…. she also says that from 1-18 months old, babies need 15-18 hours of sleep a day.  Wha????  I have no idea how much sleep Yogi actually gets, but I can’t imagine it is near this range.  Thoughts?

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15 thoughts on “Rambling Towards a Mommy Question

  1. I may not be the best person to give advice because we have been blessed with the Incredible Sleeping Baby, BUT he didn't get that way until around 4 months or so. (side note…you need a ticker so I can immediately tell exactly how old yogi is 🙂

    Before 4 months, napping was about survival…us doing whatever the hell worked. If he fell asleep in the swing, yay! the car, yay! The boppy, whoo! His crib? Hardly ever. Around 4-6 months, we totally did cry-it-out in the crib so that he learned to nap there. After some time, it worked…maybe too well, because he will ONLY sleep in the crib now. But that could be his personality. He can't 'turn things off' when he's out and about.

    Anyway, napping this early on is hard. You're not alone. Do what works, whatever that may be. When he's a little older, then try a napping schedule and a specific place.

    Oh…and nap him at first sign of being sleeping (a single yawn, an eye rub, fussiness)…possibly before, if you can tell. Best to put them down before they get overtired and unable to self-soothe.

  2. My two didn't start taking actual naps (on their own, in their beds, for more than 30 minutes at approximately the same times each day) until six or seven months. SO. HARD.

    All the sleep books tell you that babies need such-and-such amounts of sleep, but the truth is that all babies are different. Try not to stress too much. The best advice at this age is definitely to do whatever works.

  3. I DO need a ticker, you are so right. Got to get on that! I hear you about survival, that is what we're operating on at this point. Whenever, wherever. As I read that BW book though I just started wondering how you could possibly know how much sleep your baby gets when he's nodding off here, there and everywhere? The first sign thing is SO key and I didn't really get that until I read the book. I'd been watching for hunger cues but (for some reason) not tired ones. I'm on it now though! 😉

  4. Yeah, the books will kill you. I had held out until this one and then it sucked me right in. Working on the calmness! Thanks for what you said. It helps.

  5. I hear you. Essie is just over three months, and she's started sleeping slightly longer stretches at night (a 6 or 7 hour stretch when we are really really lucky but usually she goes for around 5 at the most), and she's sleeping an average of about 14 hours a day, up from 12 (before we put her to sleep in her own room). But more often than not it's like 7 20-minute naps rather than fewer longer ones. The longer ones always happen when I'm wearing her or when I put her down on her front after getting her asleep in my arms.
    (I also have this book waiting for me to pick up at the library. Am I going to want to shoot myself in the head for reading it?)

  6. Don't stress, but do remember the 45 minute rule: Babies' sleep cycles are about 45 minutes long… SO, when you *do* start working on those naps, aim for 2 cycles, or 90 minutes. Don't grab him as soon as he wakes if it's just after 45 minutes.

    B went thru stages with sleeping. Take it as it comes… as long as you're aware that your kiddo needs naps (unlike Big Pink did), you're on the right track!

  7. Holland is 17.5 months and sleeps about 14 hours a day. Before he was definitely sleeping 15-18. It's crazy how much they need! I did read that book and took some of her advice, but not all. I like the eat, play, sleep idea but I don't like to force it. I think we really tried to follow his cues. If he's hungry, feed him. If he's tired, let him nap.

  8. I had a similar feeling about the book. I'm not going to go nuts with it, but the idea of a loose structure (Eat, Play, Sleep) is helpful. The cue info has been priceless.

  9. No, you should definitely pick it up. I thought it was useful, I'm just not going to follow it to a T and/or feel stressed when I can't. 😉

  10. I was so happy to read the comments on this post! We don't have the nap thing down (at three months). While she naps, she does it in arms on the weekends, unless we notice and put her down at that magical second – whenever that is. We've consoled ourselves with the thought that she won't do this forever, eventually she'll want to drive, etc., and those times holding her are well worth the inconvenience. We're probably killing her slowly, I know. That said, we really pay attention to when she has been awake for 60-90 minutes. She's always ready for a nap, even if she isn't acting like it, and it has made a huge difference in the amount of crying we get.

  11. In solidarity with you here r.e. keeping up on the blog. But hey! It's new baby land. Anything goes and survival is the only minimum requirement, I've decided. Not sure what to say about naps. Our guy takes them fairly regularly but there's no pattern. We're just excited when he sleeps long enough for us to clean a little / write emails / go on an errand / make a phone call / watch another Mad Men episode. Uno has been reading this great book “Touchpoints” by T. Berry Brazelton, who according to her is a superstar in the world of child development (her field) and it offers lots of interesting ideas about responding to the baby's cues and different cries. We've learned, as well, about overstimulation / overtired / bored / uncomfortable cries, and it's helped us head him off at the pass and prevent some meltdowns. Unless we're in the car. The carseat = instrument of torture. Hope all is well! Post more Yogi pix!

  12. Ohhh I LOVE a book recommendation. Thanks! I just found it on paperbackswap, so it should be here soon. 🙂 Will definitely post some more pics soon.

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