We spent the holiday weekend visiting my parents. There has been strain in our relationship for some time and I have been anxious about this visit for more than a month. I spent the last week preparing myself for the visit: reminding myself that everyone is responsible for themselves and their emotions, that making sure everyone is comfortable and happy is not my job, that my parents can handle their feelings of rejection when my wife doesn’t want to eat all the southern food they want to feed her, that it is ok if my wife is bored by all the sitting around and talking. My wife was really patient with me as I talked through all of it. Happily, all the talking and preparing led up to a GREAT visit.
We sent them the video of the heartbeat, so they were really excited about the baby news when we arrived. My Mom talked a mile a minute the entire weekend which, while exhausting, is a great sign. Dad had his grumpy moments, but he was at ease for most of the visit. Although we did make it out to the bookstore, the movies (we saw The Lovely Bones) and dinner at a Thai restaurant, we spent most of the time at home. The pace was slow, but quite good. It was easy and that is fabulous. Getting on the plane and heading for home I felt like a weight had been lifted. I have wanted to feel that ease with the four of us together and I finally felt it. I’ve always believed that it was possible, but I didn’t really feel it until this weekend. SO glad that I did.
Oh and they want to be called Gran and Pops. That’s the most important news 😉