It has been two days since we’ve had any official word that the Bean is still with us and optimism continues to reign. We’ve had a few oh my jesus moments between us, but we’ve managed to alternate the zen and anxious roles. It’s important that we not both occupy the anxious role at the same time. That is when things can get ugly. But, as I’ve said things haven’t really gotten ugly. In fact, they’ve gotten very, very clean. My wife spent the weekend moonlighting out-of-town (thinking we might need to save for another IVF cycle has really kept her booked with work) and I spent the weekend nesting. Manically nesting. Again.
The house is not just clean, it is CLEAN. Closets organized, pantries and cupboards tidied, refrigerator scrubbed down. You get the picture. It was a crazy weekend. Even the baseboards are gleaming. As I’m doing these things I acknowledge the freakishness of the impulse, but then I remember the truth. At least it’s not crack. I may be overzealous with the Comet, but Comet is legal and even advisable. If I’m going to take something too far it might as well be something that has beneficial outcomes. Right?!
While it would be fabulous to have another beta right this second and see that number rise and rise, we’ve got to wait. No more information until Thursday. It’s almost like a chant. A nice, soothing chant. We can do this. I can do this. Patience is a virtue and cleanliness is next to godliness.