Waiting has got to be the name of the TTC game. It seems like this is all we do anymore.
Although we debated staying in town this weekend so that we could get Beta #2 sooner, we decided to get out-of-town anyway. This was a good decision. Friday was pretty damn near close to blissful. We shared a great AM run in the mountains, ate a yummy breakfast, spent the afternoon in the woods and cleaned up for a fancy, schmancy (at least for us) dinner. Pretty much a perfect day.
My wife’s parents are a short drive from where we were staying and we had planned to spend Saturday night with them. This means that early on Sat, the “do we tell them?” discussions began. Both of our families are (for better or worse) eager (read: wanting to be informed of every step in the process) for any baby-related news and we knew that we would be asked about the outcome of Thursday’s test. To tell or not to tell? My wife decided that she wanted to POAS before she said anything. We both figured that would give us a tad more information and could boost our confidence. Scary though. What if it said we weren’t pregnant?!! We debated the whole thing for way too long and finally decided to go for it. Well….. the damn stick was vague. In fact, BOTH sticks were vague. By vague, I mean that the second line was faint. So faint that I might have hallucinated it. But truly, I don’t think I did. I think it was there, it was just wasn’t as bold as I would have liked for it to be. Damnit.
We have no idea what this means, but have decided that we are holding on to this thing until we get OFFICIAL news that it’s over. And my wife’s Mom asked and we told. The first beta was positive, but it wasn’t high. Cautious optimism. That’s where we are. For now.
And then there was the baby shower. A very special kind of hell.
Any moment now, my phone will ring and I will know.