Today is a rough day. Trying to maintain my own optimism while dealing with/buffering myself from my wife’s pessimism. She doesn’t feel pregnant anymore. There is nothing to say about that. It’s true for her and nothing I can come up with will touch it. Logic and reason have no place in our house at the moment. We are all emotion, all the time. She is preparing herself for bad news tmw; she’s feeling the pain of it before it even comes. It is what it is.
I believe that we are pregnant, but I still want to just sit down and have a good cry.
That could have something to do with the fact that PMS is upon me in a major way.
Or it could have to do with the fact that I had a two plus hour conversation with a colleague this afternoon that could have been summed up in three short words: GET OUT NOW. Nice. Nothing like a 50-something year old man crying in your office about how he’s totally lost himself in this godforsaken job and he didn’t really see it until it was TOO LATE. Not what I need thankyouverymuch. I try hard to resist deep, thoughtful reflections about my career for a reason.
Or it could have to do with the fact that it is hard to know what my wife needs when she gets in these depressive funks and that makes me feel powerless. She doesn’t know what she needs, how am I supposed to know what she needs? What can I DO people?!!!
Or it could have to do with the fact that sometimes I just like a good cry.